The 8th Annual SK Last Man Standing Competition & Banquet

Welcome gladiators and fanatics to the annual POWERADE Last Man Standing homepage and center. As 87.93% of you know the ELMS is a classic game of cat & mouse, where sophisticated assassins explore, research and simply blindly guess on who will be the Last Man Standing according to the archaic rules that I have set forth. For the 7% or 30%, depending on if you’re using Benjamin Franklin or Elton John lenses, of you who do not know what ELKS is, it is a cut throat competition where citizens who mildly enjoy Major League baseball select who they feel like will be the last player during the year to keep over a .400 batting average.

 

Let us get the fine print and rules out of the way now so we can enjoy the meat and potatoes of the competition. I wonder would the rules be the stale old roll that they give you at the Thompson wedding at the buffet that also served the Chicken Marcella?

 

 

 

Rule 1.  The player must be on pace for qualifying for the batting title at the end of the competition. Just to clarify Mr. Kersey the rule changed to 3.1 PA per game in 1957.

 

Rule 2. The tournament must go at least one week. Truth be told I didn’t even think of the possibility that every qualified player could forget how to play baseball in the first week or every pitcher would start juicing, but my downer roommate came up with that idea.. A real piece of work he is… I mean really thank you, but in his defense he does have a Grammy if that means anything anymore. 

 

Rule 3. The Last Man Standing or Muscial chairs or whatever you want to call it ends when every player in baseball ends the day with less than a .400 batting average. If the final two end with less than .400 on the same day then the player with the highest batting average wins. If two people end the season with over a .400 average then the highest batting average wins. A player can dip below .400 and go back over .400 as long as someone else still had over .400 when he dipped into a state of despair.

 

Rule 4. If no picked player is the winner then the highest selected player is the winner.

So for example if Person A picks: Adam Dunn (and this person would assumable be a sexy, intelligent human being) and Person B picks Chris Shelton ( and this f’ing moron is just a jackass) . If after all players have dropped below .400 and let’s say on this day in May Adam Dunn is batting an admirable .216 and Shelton is out of baseball then Dunn is the winner of the Last Man Standing for SK’s heart.

 

 

 

Ok Now that we completed the rules, let us get to the contestants and there picks!!!!

WOHOOOO HOW CAN YOU NOT BE EXCITED BECAUSE I KNOW I AM, THEN AGAIN I AM ALSO HOPPED UP ON ECTO COOLER AND CHEEZ DODDLES!!

 

 

 

AJ’s Pick: Raul Ibanz  ( Current Team:  Phillies |   Best Avg. .304 in 2004)

    In addition we have given this sorry old sap Sal Fasano and Andy Phillips out of Pity who combined have a best year of like .229.

 

Anthony “ The Saint” C’s pick: Chipper Jones (Current Team: The Braves |  Best Avg .364 in 2008)

 

Craig “ The Eagle”’s pick : Manny Ramirez  ( Current Team: The Dodgers | Best Avg. .351 in 2000 )

 

The Don’s pick: Felipe Lopez ( Current Team: D Backs | Best Avg. .291 in 2005 )

            In addition we have given the Don Tony Clark, Felipe’s Truth or Dare partner on the long bus rides across the country. They do ride buses still right?

 

Jeff “ The Loose Cannon” R’s pick: Nick Markakis ( Current Team: Orioles  | Best Year:  .306 in 2008)

 

Kevin “KFed” pick: Chase Utley ( Current Team: Phillies | Best Avg. .332 in 2007)

 

My Pick:  and drum roll please…. *drum roll sound how ever that would be typed*

 

**bang of drum**

** bang of drum**

 

Albert Pujols ( Current Team: St. Louis | Best Avg. .359 in 2003 )

 

 

 

Now that we have introduced the competitors and thoroughbreds, we will keep you informed on a weekly basis, or when my parole officer lets me use the computer, of the current standings.

 

Finally the prize of course is pride and either Weekend at Bernies II, The Son of the Mask, my 7^th Birthday home video or some other random gem.

 

 

Week 1:  4/5 – 4/11

In Progress

 

Good Luck out there, enjoy the ride and God Bless!

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