Fall Power Rankings Volume One: Want some Power rankings with that story?

We are back on the information superhighway except for our readers in Poughkeepsie who did not vote for proposition 9.7. In a moment we will jive our way into the Beano® Power Rankings but first, let us take a moment and discuss where we have been for the last 437 trading sessions. When we last left you our great President; George W. Bush was getting deflated approval ratings, Coach Koehler or Lombardi as they called him at the hall until the incident was at the top of the heap, Ryan Leaf would be mentioned in the Bear Stern’spower rankings, NY Times or Ashbury Press or hell all three…. While many things have changed in this whacky and crazy world, little has changed in the world of the Wrigley ® Ultimate POWER RANKINGS. Let us get back on track and stop fantasizing about the greatest actor of the last decade…Stephen Dorff. 

 

 

 

As many of you know my friend, confidant and twin brother Hugh Downs and I were doing hard time in Tijuana for not paying our parking tickets or as the federales call it… 살인.  Did they really think we could afford 1,000 pesos?  After what felt like decades upon decades but was really two  days we were let go after our old friend and PR czar Jonathan E. Daly personally showed up to pay for our release. What a friend and PR czar he is to fly all the way out here with his two wives, two suit cases of who knows what and a fun looking sombrero! All John had to do was wire the money but instead decided to take us out of penal complex himself. From there Truth be told Hughey, Daly and myself never really talked about where John came up with the pesos but we made a promise that we would all do a JOHN DALY  BIG BASS PRO SHOPS DRIVER power rankings together when we all made it back home safely.

 

 

We are out of  Mexico now and back in the states due to the compassion, class and overwhelming brilliance of our friend JD….err shouldn’t say that around old Dale he might get a hunkering for his old friend Jack Daniels. So where was old coach Koehler or Lombardi as the boys at the hall call him after his trip to Mexico since I said I was gone for eons and the trip to Mexico was only a matter of days, well friends that was the incident at the hall that I don’t want to get into on this family piece.  Let us not talk about the past, since John here can not remember the last time he completed a round of 18 or the last time he did not go to the 19^th hole before the 3^rd.  Before we get to the power rankings we should tell you, Hughey will not be joining us since ABC has gone and tied him up until he does another heart pounding 20/20.    ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE!!! Or at least scroll down past the next picture to the rankings.

 

 

Alright John-O and I are in agreement with the sexy but always correct pick…. No John not a sex on the beach! ………  

 

St. Andrews Hole #1 : The Long Island Playboys of  Jersey City  Without a doubt the Tiger Woods of the power rankings expect without the knee injury thing. Long Island’s team brings an insane offense that runs a standard A-11 Wildcat offense with a little shotgun thrown in. Ugh hold on,… Dale wants to shotgun some Crystal Palace … what the hell it’s at least 10 A.M. somewhere.  On defense they return a somewhat disappointing 8 probowlers…. There remaining celebrity flag football squad retired after another title. Coaching is solid like the Rock of Gibraltar and special teams is not bad with some up and comer named Bolt or something.

 

 

SON OF A BITCH! John has just eaten rankings 2 to 317 thinking it was Fig Newton’s…. Don’t ask….. Only leaving our newest expansion team……

 

 

Putt-Putt Hole # 16: Don’t Eat a Turkey while driving on the Taconic Parkway

 

It is great to see Coach Donny back in the coaching saddle even with all the past disappointments, but come on you can’t expect a rare Burnt Amber Lion of Antarctica to attack your Vespa this season, chin up old friend. So let me and John welcome you back to the league…. Wait John wants to do a toast; I am not sure how this could be dangerous. Coach Donny has brought back a solid offense featuring great majestic animals such as the Bengal, the Lion, the Ram and the Chief… wait the Chief isn’t an animal … oh wait he is talking about players from the NFL… never mind his team is downright ghastly. Even with this downright embarrassing talent the Don has been known to pick it up with intangibles such as a quality charter flight showing classics such as Battlefield Earth and Daddy Day care. The team has been known to stay at the best motel’s off the highways within 15 square miles of the stadium and the team never skimps on the per diem allocations. Of course let us not forget an old former Navy standout and lifelong beauracrat who is making his third voyage with Donny. He has already called us here at the office and said something about being excited to work with his collogue and started to say something about a wishbone but the phone short circuited from Daly’s drool.

 

 

 

Ok we are done here as John has passed out or is just resting his eyes.

 

Catch us next time on the Century 21 Power Rankings!

 

Good Afternoon and god bless!

Comments

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Thanks for the tips Jeff! My cousins suggested the same thing, but I've yet to locate a FP in decent shape. Then again 200 RMB isn't all that much when converted to USD. Just don't want to start racking up bikes when one quality unit would do.

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